Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She even gives head with a lisp.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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