You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
