We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
