that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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