she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
