Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
