New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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