I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
