Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
