it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
