I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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