My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
