in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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