i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
