i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
