Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Jerry, you need to find god
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
