She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
