He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
