watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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