Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
