He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
