I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
