I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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