i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
