i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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