Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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