She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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