you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
