the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
