He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
