You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
