and she was petting her beer can
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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