i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
