Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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