Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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