i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
