This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
