put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
