I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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