You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
