I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
