His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
