Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he was CRYING into my vagina
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
