a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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