i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
