Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
