She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize