i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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