real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize