I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
