they need to just BURY HIM!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize