I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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