In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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