I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
