Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
