Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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